Good day everyone and how are you all doing? It’s another segment of my relationship tips/advice. Trust me this article on ‘The five most important things to avoid in a relationship’, will be very useful if put to play by both party and it will also help in building a solid and strong relationship.
This article will focus mainly on the aforementioned topic. It will embrace sub topics such as:
3: The i don’t care attitude (Pride)
4: Don’t dig up the past (Let it go)
5: Double dating.
Now i will write about these sub topics one after the other for a better comprehension and understanding.
Cheating is the most popular issue is most relationships and in the present world today, cheating seems normal by most men. And it’s no longer a big deal in this 21st Century but on the other hand, cheating is still an issue for most people including me.
For a good and a healthy relationship, cheating should be out of it completely. Because cheating is the last straw that breaks the camels back no matter the intense love the couple might have for each other. And you will discover that after cheating on your spouse, things can never be the same again even after putting all efforts to make things work and get back to the normal.
Along the line, you will discover that it takes a lot to make a relationship get back to the way it was again because only that thing you see as a little mistake might done the unfix-able damage and has also distroyed your happiness and maybe your life because some people find it very hard to come out of a heartbreak or a failed relationship.
Now the question here is, why go through all these stress when you can be happy in your relationship? Why not stick to your partner alone? If you are tired in your relationship, it is better to break up amicably than allowing cheating to be the main reason behind the breakup because you might leave to regret it.
Face your fears and be bold enough to walk out of that unproductive relationship and yes you will meet someone better.Stop believing i that saying that they always say ‘you will never meet someone like me again’. The truth here is that you will meet someone far better but until you take a step of walking out of it, that’s when those ‘you will never meet someone like me again’ comes into play. And trust me, you wouldn’t want that.
One of the most common things in life is lies because everyone lies. Sometimes those lies can come knowingly or unknowingly and sometimes most lies are not dangerous ones. While in some cases telling lies can be a means of survival or another way to save face, or even to save a soul and these kind of lies are somehow okay but it is also advisable to limit it.
But in a relationship, telling lies is a big deal and your partner will not find it funny. Minor lies are okay but major likes are no go area. If you want to gain respect and trust in your relationship, learn how to be truthful to your partner no matter how ugly the truth may look. Because it is more better they hear it from you than to hear it from outside, because if they do, then it might be hard to gain their trust ever again.
Note: Always have it at the back of your mind that it takes years for one to trust but it takes just a second to loose trust totally on that same person. So be wise.
THE I DON’T CARE ATTITUDE (OR LIFESTYLE):
When you are in a good relationship, you must cut off the ‘I don’t care attitude or lifestyle. This is so because it does nothing but brings about negative vibes in your relationship and it can also take your relationship down the drain.
Watch closely, study your partner, try to know the next move. Always apologize even-though you weren’t at fault and never allow pride or an act of ignorance to come into play because it is not healthy for your relationship.In some cases, your partner might fall ill or need your help,but because of the problem you guys had earlier you wouldn’t want to do something about it you might feel he or she should come first,meanwhile that period where the person needs help, you are supposed to keep the difference aside and focus on how to make the person okay. If this is done, trust me it’ll make you guys reconcile.
Sometimes, you might feel horny and want your lover to come around first, if he or she does not come you will then say your partner does not love you, but the truth is that things aren’t done that way, if you notice your lover doesn’t come except you do, there is need for consultation. You mustn’t see your lover with the opposite sex and then conclude that he or she is cheating on you thereby causing trouble or trying to punish the person, like what i said earlier, you don’t go to the person’s aid when he or she needs you, its an act of ignorance, and ignorance kills relationship.
Double dating is a very bad act in a relationship, it might make people think less of you. If you want to start a relationship,make sure your are really in love with the intended partner. There are cases whereby you are in a serious relationship, and an old friend comes or even an ex. The person might claim they are still in love with you. In order not to hurt the person’s feelings, you’d let the person into your life.
There are also cases whereby you have a serious date but you can’t help cheating. Some people double date because they feel it’s a normal act, some double date for old time sake, while some double date to get back at their lovers.
But the truth is, all these are not needed in a relationship. You mustn’t double date because others are doing it and you want to feel among because it will destroy your relationship if your partner gets to find out. It might even make your partner regret ever coming in contact with you, and this might also make your spouse cheat, just to get back at you.
If there is anything you don’t like about your partner, or there is something you feel they should do that they are not doing,then it is advisable to confront them about it but in a good manner and in a romantic way that they wouldn’t get upset or take it personal.
NOTE: Relationships are meant to be taken seriously and cherished, so they can grow from one level to another. Your partner should come first, and not your ex. If you really cherish your relationship and you want it to last, stay clear from double dating.
DON’T DIG UP THE PAST:
Past memories that are full of hurts are supposed to be avoided totally because they are one of the reasons we have broken homes and relationships that about leading to marriage. Your lover might be a Cheat, Thief, Gangster, Drug dealer, he or she might be Insane, but due the fact that they came in contact with you, and with the help of your love they changed or rather, they changed for the better does not warrant you to talk about their old life that they are trying to forget. You guys might have problems that are similar to what happened to them in the past, you then bring up the bad old and hurtful things.
For instance, you met someone you fell in love with but you found out that the person is a flirt but you couldn’t help yourself but change the person from that act, you guys move on and get married, you might love him so much but if you still think of his past life as a flirt, you won’t trust him a hundred percent (100%) and if you see him close to the opposite sex, you wouldn’t be comfortable with that, you wouldn’t be patient enough to keep it to yourself so in the process of talking to him about it, it will make him wonder that you never trusted him even after he made it clear that he was a changed person. It’ll hurt him a lot, its a past memory that he has dropped but you are now using it to judge him. That alone causes breakup.
You don’t have to bring up the past, it reduces trust and love for each other. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t open up your past. Its good to tell your lover about your past so he or she don’t get to know from outside because if your partner finds it from outside, there will be no trust or you might end up breaking up. So you let your partner know about you and your past but make him or her promise you that they wouldn’t bring it up again.
For example, your lover cheated on you or u caught him or her cheating. He or she then apologized and you guys became OK. You guys might have problems and you start saying things like your lover cheated on you or maybe could still be cheating behind your back. Things are not supposed to be done that way. You have to let go of the past and focus on the present and the future, because if you keep dwelling in the past, your relationship will be based on the past and it wouldn’t grow
Hope this was helpful? Drop your comments below.
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